(photoshop originally found on deadspin.com. If you've never heard of Deadspin, I'm surprised you somehow found this site first)--------------------
Killing animals is cruel. It is not, however, inhumane, as dogs are not humans.
::big grin::
Okay, let's get serious: not in in a million years would I ever condone those who think that dogfighting is a sensible lifestyle. From an outsider's perspective, this lifestyle thrives solely on propelling the image of a "bad boy," transforming an owner/trainer's persona into one that seems larger-than-life and more influential to those around him. Then again, it could be that dog fight organizers get a really sick thrill out of watching animals fight each other violently, then subjecting the loser to torture and macabre methods of execution--according to what I've read, it is possible to electrocute and/or hang a dog (part of me wants to know how that's done, it sounds harder than it probably is).
So there you go: every dog is sacred. Don't fucking kill them.
Now then, Michael Vick has been indicted for competitive dog fighting and for training dogs to fight each other, as well as making the operation an interstate issue. On paper he looks like toast; there's been carcasses found all over his estate in Virginia, there's alleged evidence of Vick giving thousands of dollars in winnings to other dog owners, and worst of all, the business he's allegedly connected to is named Bad Newz Kennels. I'm guessing that when some random federal investigator was assigned to track down underground dog fighting operations in America and saw the name "Bad Newz Kennels" in the Yellow Pages, he might have raised an eyebrow. The thing I love best about this name is that they were all about the "z" in "Newz" but left the "s" in "Kennels" as is. It's like they wanted to be "bad" enough for young America but respectable enough for corporate America. I think this is what Bill Simmons thinks of when he writes about unintentional comedy.
Right now, Vick looks toasted on the investigation. Then again, Kobe Bryant looked like toast during that press conference in 2003 when was bald and crying next to his hot, barely legal wife. The Duke lacrosse players seemed left for dead when Satan's favorite D.A., Mike Nifong, vowed to bring "justice" to the mean streets of Durham. As one of my heroes Michael Wilbon mentioned recently, the Duke lacrosse case reminded us about the dangers of jumping to conclusions.
Why then, is it so easy to jump to conclusions with Mike Vick? Probably because a case of this magnitude couldn't come at a worse time for an NFL player. Roger Goodell has essentially made it a prerogative to eradicate any kind of "thug" culture the NFL may have, as David Stern embarked upon after the Pistons-Pacers melee a few years ago. We all know the cases by now: Chris Henry has been dealt a final warning through this eight-game suspension, and Tank Johnson and Pac-Man Jones (By the way, I never felt Pac-Man deserved an eighth of the media attention he gets; is he even one of the top ten cornerbacks in the league? Please!) will likely never play in the NFL again. Goodell has been mostly supported by colleagues and writers for the stance he takes against the league's most grievous offenders. However, some of these punishments have been the result of connection with a player's wrongdoing, rather proven commitment of a crime--I wouldn't go as far as writing "guilty until proven innocent," but we could go down that path with Vick.
What if Vick's attorney(s) are able to prove that a dog-fighting operation was being run without his knowledge and/or approval? Forget how far-fetched that seems in reality, it's still a possibility. If Vick is absolved of any wrongdoing in this case--and again, I realize I'm reaching here, but as of July 25, 2007, we don't know all the facts yet--what does the NFL do then? Issue an apology to Vick and his representatives? Issue an apology to Joey Harrington for getting his ass kicked in the regular season? That would become a big, big issue for Goodell's staff and the way they assess crime and punishment in the NFL. Goodell has ordered Vick to stay away from training camp until the NFL determines whether the quarterback violated the league's Personal Conduct Policy (which I willingly admit I know nothing about). Training dogs to kill and then electrocuting them, I'm guessing, probably violates this policy--but how does the NFL determine that without the federal government figuring it out first??? How can the NFL independently determine what involvement Vick had with the operation? Do they create a punishment based upon assumption? That's where I scratch my head with the league's treatment of one of its biggest stars.
Yes, in the real world, if a lawyer at a big shot firm or a banker at Morgen Stanley get indicted for a felony (dog fighting seem unlikely, but narcotics possession seems like a good bet), he or she would probably either fired or given a leave of absence until the legal process is concluded. The NFL ain't the real world, boys and girls. It's a collection of three hundred pound, testosterone-driven athletes who treat each Sunday like the difference between life and death. Media and fans alike have transformed the league from an entertaining weekend getaway into the wealthiest sport in America and a definition of the cities we live in (and I should know; I lived in Cincinnati for 15 years, and it sucked). These "employees" don't belong to private entities, they belong to the public eye on TV and in front of the thousands of fans that come to these games, many of those fans making huge investments in season tickets and team merchandise. If you take away one of your big stars from the public eye, but then discover he was never in the wrong, what's your next move? Be very careful how far you go, Mr. Goodell.
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Follow-ups:
- So yeah, don't draft Vick until the 12th or 13th round in FFL this year, if at all.
- Which reminds me, how in the hell was Lamont Jordan a consensus top-ten pick a year ago? Last year was the first time I did FFL and even I realized this was completely wrong. Did anyone ever do a case study on this?
- One more FFL mention; I'm looking for extra teams in a league I'm managing, email me if you're interested.
- If Peyton Manning ever got indicted for [insert crime], how would Goodell react?
- And finally, I probably don't need to remind most you about this, but PETA is about as backwards an organization as you will find that this country. I won't give anything away, but rent some DVD's of Penn and Teller's Bullshit!, look for the PETA episode, and watch the truth unravel before your eyes.
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