My final post ever...at the office

This picture, while not an authentic replica, offers a decent idea of the space in which I've been mostly blogging on since this blog started up in July. It is a plain space, lurid and shiftless, and more boring than a Mass on Palm Sunday (plus it doesnn't come with a creepy smiling single mom). Its only saving grace: this computer and its corporate-funded high speed Internet connection, which I've exploited for over a month now. And this blog, my friends, has been the result of that exploitation.

Without giving away too much info, here's the scenario I've been in: in between grad school years I worked as a temp out of a downtown Columbus office, and they hooked me up with a pretty sweet-looking part time gig as both an assistant of development and on-call receptionist. No sweat, I've done this shit for a while, right? Well, I guess it only goes to show that the more time I spend in these office environments, the more bullshit I find.

Right now this fat bitch in the cubicle opposite of mine is complaining about...oh, something, I don't know. It doesn't really matter. It seems that every office has to have at least one (but often two to four) fat bitches spending about 20% of their work day doing nothing but complaining to their coworkers about how shitty their life is. I remember this one idiot fat bitch at an old real estate office I worked at who would take her time to come to me directly and complain about the most trivial shit, like how she'd been up at 4:30 in the morning exercising (yeah right) and wouldn't be finished with work until 9 pm that evening. Like I give a fuck. Fortunately no one's complained to me directly about anything, it's just working in this open environment that makes me receptive to all the "woe-is-me" personalities around my desk. It makes me want to cut myself while listening to the Downward Spiral over and over again.

But right, why is it that no one ever complains to me about their problems? Probably because they barely acknowledge my existence. As an assistant to the director of development, my primary supervisor is, well, the director of development. The only problem is, I think she's a cokehead or something, because she often doesn't come into work unil 10 o'clock, whereas I got in at 8. (she's also the daughter of the big boss, if that helps explain things) The boss overseeing her (the Director of Ops) would be the next person to talk to, and he's a good guy with a good heart, but all the multi-tasking his job entails leaves me left behind in the woodwork.

Not that I'm complaining.

I've done work like this enough to know when you have to view the glass as half-full instead of half-empty. Instead of doing actual work for most of the day, I've been getting paid $10.20 an hour to register for fall classes, catch up on my Dostoevsky, manage my fantasy football team, bid on useless things on eBay, and most importantly, keep this thing up to date. How the hell can I complain about the situation I've been living in? The trick, I learned, is to keep your mouth shut and look like you're being productive. After the first few days, when I had little to do (and trust me, this job gave me very little to do, thanks to the incompetence of my immediate supervisor) I would ask people if they needed help with anything. Often times the answer would be no, and I realized that if I just stayed out of people's hair they'd take less notice of me. I'd become inferior to them, like an insect on the wall and oblivious to all higher-ups. I know most people don't like inferority, but in this case, it was a great fucking position to be in! That's fucking freedom! Don't we all live for that? I mean, the very fact that I'm taking about forty minutes out of my work day to describe kind of massive bullshit the office is shows how much freedom I have, and that's all kinds of awesome. It'd be nice if I could get paid better for it, but it is a temp job.

Some other observations from office work:

• There's at least two guys in here (and they're both jackoffs) who were pink shirts on a regular basis. I thought that cliche died in 2005. The pink shirt is an abomination to men everywhere, and if you're a breast cancer survivor who was offended by this sentence, I don't care. REAL MEN HATE PINK. They wear black. Yeah. Black shirt FTW.


• The workspace makes you that less funnier and less creative. You end up laughing at the corniest jokes. You say the most predictable things. You drive yourself into a pattern of "normal, normal, normal" or "blend, blend, blend" and that's who you become. This is why people say college is the best time of their lives, because they allow this shit to happen to them. This is also what Tyler Durden was talking about, in a way. If you decide to go into office work for the long run, don't let the group mentality overcome you. Rebel in some way, whether it's growing your hair long, wearing jeans on Friday afternoon, or writing a blog about how your life sucks. You'll find some way.

(For the record, my life doesn't suck, because I spent the past two months essentially getting paid to write about sports. Remember that.)

I really don't have much more to say. I guess I can be so laissez-faire about office work because I really did detest it. I detested dressing in slacks and a tie every day and looking and acting like everyone else. I despised the standards that corporate offices employ on their employees for how they should act and interact, enforcing what it means to act and behave like a professional. Fuck that motherfucking shit. I am a professional! It just so happens that my profession isn't in life insurance policies, but rather in making fun of you slackasses. (and music too) So you go on ahead in your gray suits and double grande lattes, filing away massive amounts of meaningless paperwork while bitching about how you have to have your nails done before dinner, because when it all boils down, the vast majority of you have already made the decision to do nothing meaningful with your lives except make money, and you can't take it with you. In other words, you're already dead, bitches.

God damn I'm awesome. And He agrees, too.

What I'm Doing at Work Today

The image came out fuzzier than I'd prefer, but hopefully you can read the CAPTAIN PLANEEEET!!! up top there. That's right, I'm posting fake resumes onto Careerbuilder.com. My job kicks ass.

What doesn't kick ass is Carlos Zambrano getting paid $91.5 million--a slightly larger contract than what Ichiro has (and mark my words, Ichiro is worth every penny of his)--to do a job you or I could probably do just as well at the moment. 6-1 Brewers over Cubs, Sheets over Big Z. Time to hustle, chum.

Thankfully college football starts tomorrow, and I'll have all sorts of updates on the ND/OSU openers and what's going on with the Big Ten Network. An early note however, to Time Warner in Columbus: DO NOT GIVE IN. BTN IS EVIL. That is all.

Transcript of the chat from my fantasy draft

If you don't want to read it, then don't. But I'm posting it regardless, as it was pretty f'ing funny.

For reference, I'm the Wabash Cockblockers.

----------------------------------------------------

Welcome to the 2007 Ohio is for Hangovers draft.

Beef on Weck: Beef on Weck has entered the draft

Beef on Weck: penis

Beef on Weck: dfsfgg

Team Nigam: Team Nigam has entered the draft

Team Nigam: vagina

Wabash Cockblockers: holy shit

Wabash Cockblockers: two guys who don't know each other already communicating in perfect college-speak

Team Nigam: haha

Wabash Cockblockers: Glad to see at least two guys already in the draft

Wabash Cockblockers: Hopefully Jeff Hunt no-shows and I get LDT

Grizzly Bear Incest: Grizzly Bear Incest has entered the draft

Beef on Weck: aren't you like 11th?

Wabash Cockblockers: It was a joke

Grizzly Bear Incest: hewwo

Wabash Cockblockers: Hi Jeff!!!

Wabash Cockblockers: We were just talking about you!

Grizzly Bear Incest: jeff?

Grizzly Bear Incest: which one is jeff

Grizzly Bear Incest: ?

Beef on Weck: hopefully my bro shows up

Beef on Weck: he might have forgot

Grizzly Bear Incest: like a sucker

Wabash Cockblockers: Pacman Jones

Wabash Cockblockers: If Lou forgets that'll rock

Grizzly Bear Incest: give him a call

Wabash Cockblockers: wait, sorry Jason

Wabash Cockblockers: I forgot Jeff is Pac Man and you're the incest, my bad

Grizzly Bear Incest: ;) its ok lolz

Grizzly Bear Incest: :P

Wabash Cockblockers: p.s. Team Nigam is my good pal Sidd from glee club at osu

Grizzly Bear Incest: i feel really dirty using those emoticons

Wabash Cockblockers: I'll write a profile about who everyone is later this week

Grizzly Bear Incest: can you write it in sonnet form?

Wabash Cockblockers: I was thinking prose, bitch

Grizzly Bear Incest: why is stephen jackson #2 overall?

Backfield In Lotion: "He's a general practioner from Beverly Hills...please welcome "Enormous Genitals!"

Grizzly Bear Incest: lamont jordan syndrome?

Wabash Cockblockers: hahaha

Wabash Cockblockers: No dude

Wabash Cockblockers: Stephen Jackson is no Lamont Jordan

Grizzly Bear Incest: but why is he ranked above peyton and brady?

Wabash Cockblockers: (which, by the way, shows that FFL experts know just as little about FFL as we do)

Wabash Cockblockers: Becuase there's a great chance he'll average at least 15 a game

Wabash Cockblockers: BTW, hello MMP

Wabash Cockblockers: st. louis has a great offense and a shaky defense

Grizzly Bear Incest: this is jp losman's year, i can feel it

Wabash Cockblockers: F that

Wabash Cockblockers: This is TRENT GREEN'S year

Grizzly Bear Incest: he's got at least sixteen years left in the league

Wabash Cockblockers: that's the over/under, yeah

Beef on Weck: so i have no idea wtf i'm doing, just for the record

Backfield In Lotion: hello all

Grizzly Bear Incest: first round pick a kicker

Grizzly Bear Incest: neal rackers

Wabash Cockblockers: hi mmp

Wabash Cockblockers: how are you

Wabash Cockblockers: you need to write more on kissmesuzy!

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: howdy

Wabash Cockblockers: all it is right now is big daddy drew saying fuck a lot

Backfield In Lotion: I know I know

Wabash Cockblockers: And the Jiffnut is in da hizzy

Wabash Cockblockers: and granted, bdd does a great job writing "fuck," but it grows on you

Backfield In Lotion: I try to be "busy" when I have no good ideas so I don't write shit

Wabash Cockblockers: i hear ya

Grizzly Bear Incest: it's the masturbation excuse

Wabash Cockblockers: I'm just waiting for Notre Dame to lose to some quality Big Ten teams so I can find stuff to compalin about

Backfield In Lotion: it really is

Wabash Cockblockers: Hey Sidd, I'm in the library and my phone's on roaming, send me an email if you have a question

Wabash Cockblockers: (he just tried to call)

Backfield In Lotion: so did I wind up in the Ohio State glee club ff league?

Wabash Cockblockers: Kind of :)

Wabash Cockblockers: There's also Alex Ferrerya, another Deadspin guy

Wabash Cockblockers: Haven't seen him yet

Team Nigam: damnit brandon

Team Nigam: ok

Beef on Weck: lou will be on shortly

Wabash Cockblockers: sorry sidd!

Wabash Cockblockers: good to hear cheech

Backfield In Lotion: I just want to point out that I have zero papers in front of me, and zero spreadsheets

Grizzly Bear Incest: i have a hat filled with names

Wabash Cockblockers: I have a scrapsheet in front of me and several windows open from stuff i saved on gmail

Team Nigam: ok i sent u the email

Beef on Weck: i have no idea what i'm doing, so whatever

Grizzly Bear Incest: neal rackers, first round

Grizzly Bear Incest: then gus frerotte

Backfield In Lotion: this should be fun

Backfield In Lotion: I hope Yancy Thigpen is still around at No 4.

Wabash Cockblockers: As usual, Cheech has no idea what the hell is going on

Wabash Cockblockers: Yet I'm still certain he'll get a 95 like he did in BC Calc

Grizzly Bear Incest: is jim thorpe still playing?

Wabash Cockblockers: Fuck Jim Thorpe

Beef on Weck: i aced that shit

Wabash Cockblockers: Dat bitch owes me money

Grizzly Bear Incest: you owe him his land back!

Wabash Cockblockers: I like how I went from trig/geometry soph year all the way down to intro to calc senior year

Wabash Cockblockers: and it still ddidn't matter

Wabash Cockblockers: f that

Wabash Cockblockers: evil white men are to blame

Grizzly Bear Incest: is it cool if we dont talk about high school?

Wabash Cockblockers: us irish were too busy fighting in the five points

Wabash Cockblockers: good idea actually

Wabash Cockblockers: League Manager corally for the draft: we all agree that high school sucked

Grizzly Bear Incest: corollary, and good

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus has entered the draft

Wabash Cockblockers: Alex the writer!!!

Wabash Cockblockers: THE OUTSIDERS HAS ARRIVED!!!!!

Grizzly Bear Incest: who're the socs?

Wabash Cockblockers: Socs?

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: whasup people

Wabash Cockblockers: sup

Grizzly Bear Incest: forget it

Wabash Cockblockers: haha

Wabash Cockblockers: so we're still waiting on

Wabash Cockblockers: jim van rens

Wabash Cockblockers: matt murray (snicker)

Wabash Cockblockers: dustin powers (probably won't make it)

Wabash Cockblockers: and tobey steinman

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: i hope that this draft doesn't go into entourage and flight of the concord time

Wabash Cockblockers: oh, and lou two

Wabash Cockblockers: Hopefully it goes no longer than an hour

Wabash Cockblockers: and with five guys awol that might be the case

Wabash Cockblockers: jeff are you still planning on coming up for akron?

Grizzly Bear Incest: so we can make off track bets on the picks?

Grizzly Bear Incest: or is that illegal still?

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: i'm hoping to make it up for the akron game, but i don't know yet

Wabash Cockblockers: no, it's just a bad idea

Wabash Cockblockers: sounds good jeff

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: i'm definitely coming up for the wisconsin game

Wabash Cockblockers: sweet

Wabash Cockblockers: i'll see what i can do about tickets...

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: i don't know if i want to pay the premium for the wisconsin game yet

Backfield In Lotion: did I see somewhere that we can actually trade picks

Backfield In Lotion: ???

Wabash Cockblockers: hopefully you won't have to if i can find student tickets that raen't through the roof

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: it might be more fun just to tailgate it...depending on how the season is going

Wabash Cockblockers: yes we could trade picks

Wabash Cockblockers: but i'm afriad it's too late for that now MMP

Grizzly Bear Incest: i'll pay thirteen cents for first pick

Grizzly Bear Incest: and randy moss

Wabash Cockblockers: i hear ya

Grizzly Bear Incest: i hope someone picks brady quinn 22nd, just for the poetry of it

Team Nigam: ok thanks brandon

Wabash Cockblockers: sure thing sidd

Wabash Cockblockers: i hope you get fisted in the ass by a man named sven

Grizzly Bear Incest: tickles

Wabash Cockblockers: it better bitch

Wabash Cockblockers: yay

Backfield In Lotion: european guys have small hands, or so I hear

Wabash Cockblockers: i'm cursing at will at jason bolte

Wabash Cockblockers: everything's smaller in europe

Wabash Cockblockers: except in ireland :)

Grizzly Bear Incest: where it's just poor

Wabash Cockblockers: under five minutes

Wabash Cockblockers: fuck you

Grizzly Bear Incest: line up after sven

Wabash Cockblockers: j/k lol

Wabash Cockblockers: yay

Wabash Cockblockers: btw

Grizzly Bear Incest: what is this position limits formulae i see?

Backfield In Lotion: you can't throw a potato in Ireland without hitting a run-down shanty

Wabash Cockblockers: did you delete my tirade from point pleasant?

Grizzly Bear Incest: i have the audio still

Wabash Cockblockers: could you email it to me?

Grizzly Bear Incest: i'll use it as blackmail one day

Backfield In Lotion: shit, I was really hoping I could draft 4 kickers

Wabash Cockblockers: i...kinda lost the cd....

Grizzly Bear Incest: yeah

Wabash Cockblockers: sweet

Wabash Cockblockers: oh, right :)

Wabash Cockblockers: that'd be a fun league, where four kickers start

Wabash Cockblockers: i'd like to see matthew berry join a league like that so his head could explode

Grizzly Bear Incest: so is it negative division by three for tight ends? or no more than?

Malt Liquor In the Car: Malt Liquor In the Car has entered the draft

Wabash Cockblockers: the lou is in da hizzy

Team Nigam: is everyone here yet?

Wabash Cockblockers: and not a moment too f'ing soon

Malt Liquor In the Car: damn straught

Backfield In Lotion: I'd like to join a league where every skill player in the league would have to start on someone's team

Malt Liquor In the Car: straught indeed

Wabash Cockblockers: we're still missing matt murray, dustin tobey and jim van rens

Team Leonidas: Team Leonidas has entered the draft

Wabash Cockblockers: dustin said he'd probably miss

Wabash Cockblockers: and there's TOBEY!

Wabash Cockblockers: jim is probably drunk

Wabash Cockblockers: so he's out

Team Nigam: haha

Team Nigam: true

Wabash Cockblockers: and matt murray is well, yeah

Beef on Weck: my computer's being fun tonight

Team Leonidas: i didnt think firefox would run this and it finally popped up

Beef on Weck: piece of shit

Team Nigam: freaking matt murray

Wabash Cockblockers: it takes a while on firefox

Grizzly Bear Incest: yay safari?

Wabash Cockblockers: maybye

Wabash Cockblockers: yeah, i need to run profiles on all the guys in this league

Team Leonidas: anyone read matt murrays recent facebook postings? theyre interesting

Backfield In Lotion: the clock does not enjoy being highlighted

Grizzly Bear Incest: who's picking first?

Wabash Cockblockers: matt murray has the greatest myspace site EVER

Wabash Cockblockers: no i haven't

Beef on Weck: jeff is first

Wabash Cockblockers: coming up soon now...

Beef on Weck: cocksucker

Wabash Cockblockers: haha

Wabash Cockblockers: go back to buffalo

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: i get to pick LT...yay

Beef on Weck: heh

Wabash Cockblockers: ;)

Grizzly Bear Incest: ryan leaf! ryan leaf!

Backfield In Lotion: wheeeeeeee!

Wabash Cockblockers: okay jeff hurry up and pick

Wabash Cockblockers: go

Wabash Cockblockers: do it

Wabash Cockblockers: NOW

Wabash Cockblockers: AHHHH!

Wabash Cockblockers: HURR YUP!!!!!!

Wabash Cockblockers: LDT IS ON THE CLOCK!

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: fine

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: i picked

Team Leonidas: btw who is who

Wabash Cockblockers: I'm Sidd

Malt Liquor In the Car: Jerome Bettis

Malt Liquor In the Car: do it

Malt Liquor In the Car: he'll be good this year

Wabash Cockblockers: hmmm

Wabash Cockblockers: clock is frozen

Wabash Cockblockers: did I jinx it?

Backfield In Lotion: OMG this draft is taking 4EVAH!

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: was there a pick made?

Beef on Weck: now you've gone and done it

Wabash Cockblockers: wtf?

Beef on Weck: did we crash the nfl?

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: f'ing go already

Grizzly Bear Incest: sherman, fix the time machine

Malt Liquor In the Car: lame

Backfield In Lotion: is he one of the guys not here?

Wabash Cockblockers: so every mock i do goes by fine, yet this thing effs up

Beef on Weck: more like borophyll

Wabash Cockblockers: jeff, did you click "draft player"

Grizzly Bear Incest: didnt espn have this problem last year?

Wabash Cockblockers: no

With the 2nd pick in the draft, the Team Van Rens select Steven Jackson.

Wabash Cockblockers: there we go

Beef on Weck: there we go

Backfield In Lotion: shot clock has expired

Wabash Cockblockers: weird though

Wabash Cockblockers: how it passed over jim like that

Beef on Weck: i never saw jeff's go through

Wabash Cockblockers: holy shit

Malt Liquor In the Car: wtf?

Wabash Cockblockers: LDT is still on the board

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: i have LT in my roster...

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: what do i do?

Malt Liquor In the Car: who got picked first?

Wabash Cockblockers: hmmmmm

Wabash Cockblockers: jeff, we all see ldt as still availalbe

Beef on Weck: my roster shows jeff's team empty

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: seems f'd up to pick up ldt

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: wtf?

Wabash Cockblockers: do you have ldt on your roster?

Beef on Weck: junk

Wabash Cockblockers: and alex, are you making a pick yet?

Backfield In Lotion: my board is updating

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: ldt is in my roster

Wabash Cockblockers: ok

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: i just tried to pick ldt and it crashed it

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: it says that i drafted him

Beef on Weck: sync problems i guess

Team Leonidas: la la la la la la la la

Wabash Cockblockers: pick larry johnson

Wabash Cockblockers: fast

Wabash Cockblockers: if you can

Malt Liquor In the Car: why is he still on the board?

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: it won't let me

With the 3rd pick in the draft, the Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus select Larry Johnson.

With the 4th pick in the draft, the Backfield In Lotion select Frank Gore.

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: ok..

Team Leonidas: pick brady quinn if you want your team to suck!!

Wabash Cockblockers: shut up tobey

Beef on Weck: you dared me cliff

Wabash Cockblockers: he was fucking great last night

With the 5th pick in the draft, the Beef on Weck select Shaun Alexander.

Team Nigam: soooo are we just not picking LDT??

Wabash Cockblockers: ldt is still on my board

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: he's gone on mine

Wabash Cockblockers: i would say stay away from him

Beef on Weck: he's still there on mine

Wabash Cockblockers: just ignore him, and I'll talk to espn.com about it

Wabash Cockblockers: but he's off of jeff's right?

Team Nigam: ok

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: i have LDT

Beef on Weck: i'll just ignore him

Wabash Cockblockers: weird man

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: i don't know how else to fucking tell you guys that

Wabash Cockblockers: yeah, just ignore ldt guys

Team Leonidas: how can u tell who is here at the draft? i dont see a list of names, other than when you chat

Wabash Cockblockers: the only people missing are jim, dustin and matt murray

Beef on Weck: yeah i found that to be a problem too

Grizzly Bear Incest: go to draft summary

Wabash Cockblockers: everyone else is here

Malt Liquor In the Car: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Wabash Cockblockers: also, if you roll your pointer over the draft order at the top of the screen

Wabash Cockblockers: you'll see the owner and team names of who's picking

Wabash Cockblockers: p.s. dustin powers is awol, i can tell that right now

Beef on Weck: they really need a box on the right that says who's here

Wabash Cockblockers: he'll be on autodraft for the rest

Beef on Weck: so much unused space

Team Leonidas: is sid here?

Wabash Cockblockers: yeah, that's true

Wabash Cockblockers: sidd's here

With the 6th pick in the draft, the Team Powers select Joseph Addai.

Wabash Cockblockers: he's um, team sidd

Wabash Cockblockers: shit

Team Leonidas: no shit

Wabash Cockblockers: here's another autodraft

Wabash Cockblockers: i'll need to write a poll on what matt murray was doing while missing the draft

Wabash Cockblockers: good times

Team Nigam: hahahaha

Team Leonidas: writing song lyrics i bet

Wabash Cockblockers: either that or tipping over a cow

Wabash Cockblockers: and failing

Wabash Cockblockers: badly

Team Leonidas: wtf

Wabash Cockblockers: he's from chilicothe

Wabash Cockblockers: if there were ever a place to tip cows

Team Leonidas: yea and im from kenton and we dont tip cows

Wabash Cockblockers: (except kenton)

Beef on Weck: it's lou's pick now?

Wabash Cockblockers: haha

Wabash Cockblockers: no, this is still murray

Malt Liquor In the Car: running backs are the most lucrative here correct?

Wabash Cockblockers: lou's after this one

Wabash Cockblockers: often yes, lou

Backfield In Lotion: viva viagra

Wabash Cockblockers: fuck viagra

With the 7th pick in the draft, the Chillicompton Matt Murrays select Willie Parker.

Wabash Cockblockers: CIALIS FTW

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: this is absolutely ridiculous, why would it not just auto draft instead of count down?

Wabash Cockblockers: it's how the first round of the draft works jeff

Grizzly Bear Incest: it wants you to miss entourage

Malt Liquor In the Car: how do i pick?

Wabash Cockblockers: from now on, guys who aren't here will autodraft their players

Backfield In Lotion: the first time through it will take all the time

Grizzly Bear Incest: it's become self aware

Beef on Weck: i right clicked a dude and clicked draft

Wabash Cockblockers: yeah, it also wants you to miss entourage

Backfield In Lotion: 2nd time it should autopick

Team Nigam: entourage is the best show on television

Wabash Cockblockers: hug it out bitches

Malt Liquor In the Car: hey!

Malt Liquor In the Car: how do i pick?

Wabash Cockblockers: i only know that line because the guy yelled it at wrigley field

Team Leonidas: im watching entourage right now

Beef on Weck: tright click a dude

Beef on Weck: and hit draft

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: top right,

With the 8th pick in the draft, the Malt Liquor In the Car select Peyton Manning.

Wabash Cockblockers: click on the player you want, and then click draft player

Wabash Cockblockers: there ya go!

Wabash Cockblockers: okay bolte

Wabash Cockblockers: you fucking btich

Team Leonidas: ari gold is my idol

Wabash Cockblockers: ah yes, that's his name

Wabash Cockblockers: btw, am i the only one here to see the sopranos finale?

With the 9th pick in the draft, the Grizzly Bear Incest select Drew Brees.

Team Leonidas: vince chase, e, johnny drama, turtle...

Backfield In Lotion: I didn't see it

Wabash Cockblockers: DREW BREES???????

Team Nigam: interesting pick

Wabash Cockblockers: DREW BREEEEEEESSSS?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Wabash Cockblockers: ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

With the 10th pick in the draft, the Wabash Cockblockers select Brian Westbrook.

Grizzly Bear Incest: i saved you brady quinn

Wabash Cockblockers: yeah, i can see

Wabash Cockblockers: but you passed up westbrook and rudi for DREW BREES???????????????????????????????????????????????????

Malt Liquor In the Car: FUCK DRFWE BR33s!!!!!!1

Team Nigam: yay two picks in a row!

Backfield In Lotion: awesome

Wabash Cockblockers: tomororw's headline: DREW BREES??????????????????????

Grizzly Bear Incest: rudi? seriously?

Wabash Cockblockers: rudi's great!

Team Leonidas: it wont let me pick.....

Grizzly Bear Incest: if he survives the season

Wabash Cockblockers: he's in great shape and will get at least 10 td's this season

Beef on Weck: i like horseradish

Malt Liquor In the Car: did you pick yet charlie?

Beef on Weck: fuck you

Beef on Weck: yeah i did

Malt Liquor In the Car: who did you get?

Beef on Weck: shaun alexander

Malt Liquor In the Car: ah

Wabash Cockblockers: haha

Team Leonidas: wtf

Wabash Cockblockers: brotherly love

With the 11th pick in the draft, the Team Leonidas select Rudi Johnson.

Wabash Cockblockers: i can't wait for the lou/charlie games

Malt Liquor In the Car: fuck

Beef on Weck: there's only gonna be 1

Wabash Cockblockers: it's petyon/eli on a much awesomer scale

Team Leonidas: what the hell is going on

Beef on Weck: thanks for putting us in opposite leagues fuckcork

Wabash Cockblockers: oh yeah'

Wabash Cockblockers: sorry

Team Leonidas: i cnt pick

With the 12th pick in the draft, the Team Nigam select Reggie Bush.

Grizzly Bear Incest: blame the comp, self aware

Malt Liquor In the Car: fuck reggie bush

Team Nigam: god i wanna pick LDT so bad lol

Wabash Cockblockers: tobey, did you intentionally draft rudi?

Wabash Cockblockers: haha

Wabash Cockblockers: i hear ya sidd

Team Leonidas: can i close the window and join back?

Team Leonidas: in IE?

With the 13th pick in the draft, the Team Nigam select Laurence Maroney.

Team Leonidas: fuck no

Wabash Cockblockers: go ahead and open it up in ie

With the 14th pick in the draft, the Team Leonidas select Tom Brady.

Wabash Cockblockers: be fast about it

Team Leonidas: there we go

Team Nigam: who were you going to pick tobey

Pac-Village Makin it Rain: are you guys running the java app or the html version?

Team Leonidas: reggie

Wabash Cockblockers: and nice job picking tom brady ahead of carson palmer

Wabash Cockblockers: GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!

With the 15th pick in the draft, the Wabash Cockblockers select Carson Palmer.

Beef on Weck: the thermostat?

Team Leonidas: sorry i dont want carson

Wabash Cockblockers: natch

Wabash Cockblockers: i did

Wabash Cockblockers: thanks tobey!

Team Nigam: good cuz I REALLY wanted reggie

Team Leonidas: good for you

With the 16th pick in the draft, the Grizzly Bear Incest select Cedric Benson.

Team Leonidas: im surprised u didnt snatch brady yet

Wabash Cockblockers: me=sex

Team Leonidas: lol

With the 17th pick in the draft, the Malt Liquor In the Car select Maurice Jones-Drew.

With the 18th pick in the draft, the Chillicompton Matt Murrays select Ronnie Brown.

With the 19th pick in the draft, the Team Powers select Willis McGahee.

Team Leonidas: cuz GOOGLE EARTH ROCKS

Wabash Cockblockers: i'm surprised you haven't made my dinner yet bitch

With the 20th pick in the draft, the Beef on Weck select Marvin Harrison.

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: woo!

Wabash Cockblockers: It's Google Earth is da bomb you knucklhead

Team Nigam: i sent LDT to the bottom

Team Nigam: so it will stop teasing me

Wabash Cockblockers: good call

Wabash Cockblockers: i just did the same

With the 21st pick in the draft, the Backfield In Lotion select Chad Johnson.

With the 22nd pick in the draft, the Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus select Steve Smith.

With the 23rd pick in the draft, the Team Van Rens select Travis Henry.

Beef on Weck: and here's jeff to break the draft again

With the 24th pick in the draft, the Pac-Village Makin it Rain select Thomas Jones.

Wabash Cockblockers: nope

Wabash Cockblockers: that looked a-ok jiffnut

Wabash Cockblockers: all right

Wabash Cockblockers: we're already at round 3

Beef on Weck: 123go

With the 25th pick in the draft, the Pac-Village Makin it Rain select Deuce McAllister.

With the 26th pick in the draft, the Team Van Rens select Clinton Portis.

Wabash Cockblockers: man

Wabash Cockblockers: you picked deuce ahead of edge

With the 27th pick in the draft, the Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus select Marc Bulger.

Wabash Cockblockers: MMP twidles his thumbs...

Malt Liquor In the Car: deuce is better than edge

Malt Liquor In the Car: now

With the 28th pick in the draft, the Backfield In Lotion select Brandon Jacobs.

Wabash Cockblockers: but who's more now: deuce or edge?

Wabash Cockblockers: apparently, brandon jacobs is more now than edge

Wabash Cockblockers: wow, you guys do not like edge

Malt Liquor In the Car: hahaha

Malt Liquor In the Car: charlie why doesn't it log your draft picks in the chat?

Beef on Weck: it does for me

Malt Liquor In the Car: nevermind

Malt Liquor In the Car: i thought you picked a few picks ago

With the 29th pick in the draft, the Beef on Weck select Edgerrin James.

With the 30th pick in the draft, the Team Powers select Torry Holt.

With the 31st pick in the draft, the Chillicompton Matt Murrays select Marion Barber III.

With the 32nd pick in the draft, the Malt Liquor In the Car select Reggie Wayne.

Team Leonidas: sucks we cant get lt

Wabash Cockblockers: jason bolte

Wabash Cockblockers: such a precious boy

Wabash Cockblockers: DREW BREES!

With the 33rd pick in the draft, the Grizzly Bear Incest select Ahman Green.

Wabash Cockblockers: hm

Wabash Cockblockers: jason justed texted me

Wabash Cockblockers: his computer crashed

With the 34th pick in the draft, the Wabash Cockblockers select Larry Fitzgerald.

Wabash Cockblockers: hopefully he can get back on

With the 35th pick in the draft, the Team Leonidas select Jamal Lewis.

Wabash Cockblockers: wow, that sucks

With the 36th pick in the draft, the Team Nigam select Donovan McNabb.

Grizzly Bear Incest: Grizzly Bear Incest has entered the draft

Backfield In Lotion: Chief Nigam is up

Wabash Cockblockers: hey jason

Wabash Cockblockers: sorry that happened

Wabash Cockblockers: are you back online and everything?

Grizzly Bear Incest: yep

Wabash Cockblockers: well, you wound up with ahman green

With the 37th pick in the draft, the Team Nigam select Terrell Owens.

Grizzly Bear Incest: fair enough

With the 38th pick in the draft, the Team Leonidas select Antonio Gates.

With the 39th pick in the draft, the Wabash Cockblockers select Adrian Peterson.

Team Nigam: ooo brandon

Wabash Cockblockers: sparta, bitches

With the 40th pick in the draft, the Grizzly Bear Incest select T.J. Houshmandzadeh.

Team Nigam: taking the rookie

Wabash Cockblockers: that's right, i did it

Team Nigam: lol

With the 41st pick in the draft, the Malt Liquor In the Car select Marshawn Lynch.

With the 42nd pick in the draft, the Chillicompton Matt Murrays select Jerious Norwood.

With the 43rd pick in the draft, the Team Powers select Chester Taylor.

Wabash Cockblockers: i'm taking him before he loses an arm

Malt Liquor In the Car: ditto

Team Leonidas: anyone see the nfl network commercials for fantasy football?

With the 44th pick in the draft, the Beef on Weck select Jon Kitna.

Malt Liquor In the Car: haha nice

Wabash Cockblockers: like the one where the guy tries to spell houshmandzadeh

Team Leonidas: theres one with mike nugnet

Wabash Cockblockers: haven't seen that one

Team Leonidas: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFPKQaXAdL4

With the 45th pick in the draft, the Backfield In Lotion select Lee Evans.

Team Leonidas: theres a bunch of em, just look em up

With the 46th pick in the draft, the Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus select Marques Colston.

With the 47th pick in the draft, the Team Van Rens select Carnell Williams.

With the 48th pick in the draft, the Pac-Village Makin it Rain select Donald Driver.

Wabash Cockblockers: fake

With the 49th pick in the draft, the Pac-Village Makin it Rain select Tony Gonzalez.

With the 50th pick in the draft, the Team Van Rens select Roy Williams.

Wabash Cockblockers: they ran something like that a year ago with rackers

Wabash Cockblockers: and then he proceeded to blow it against the bears

Wabash Cockblockers: so don't pick nugent

Team Leonidas: its on youtube

Wabash Cockblockers: i know

Wabash Cockblockers: i just saw it

With the 52nd pick in the draft, the Backfield In Lotion select Javon Walker.

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: did it just skip me?

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: i tried to pick up anquan

Wabash Cockblockers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nrk9I1jhJ9U&NR=1

Backfield In Lotion: i think you got him

Wabash Cockblockers: that's weird alex

With the 53rd pick in the draft, the Beef on Weck select Plaxico Burress.

With the 54th pick in the draft, the Team Powers select Matt Hasselbeck.

With the 55th pick in the draft, the Chillicompton Matt Murrays select Jeremy Shockey.

Wabash Cockblockers: the autopick would've been anquan

Wabash Cockblockers: yet you drafted javon walker

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: do we have an ldt situation here?

Wabash Cockblockers: i hope not

Wabash Cockblockers: is anquan on YOUR roster?

Team Leonidas: yea, if u pick ldt ur screwed

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: nope

Team Leonidas: i picked him and it had to autopick rudi j

Wabash Cockblockers: yeah, but alex picked anquan, not ldt

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: that sucks

Team Nigam: so is anquan taken??

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: yeah

Wabash Cockblockers: doesn't look like it

Malt Liquor In the Car: what the hell?

Team Nigam: he's on my board

Wabash Cockblockers: lou are you picking?

Malt Liquor In the Car: i just tried to pick him

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: well, i took him. don't know if IT took, though

With the 56th pick in the draft, the Malt Liquor In the Car select Randy Moss.

Malt Liquor In the Car: WHAT!!!!

Wabash Cockblockers: okay, wtf

Malt Liquor In the Car: WHAT??????

Team Nigam: so send him to the bottom

Malt Liquor In the Car: FUCK RANDY MOSS

With the 57th pick in the draft, the Grizzly Bear Incest select Jerricho Cotchery.

Wabash Cockblockers: i'm guessing lou didn't want randy

Team Nigam: i'll trade you something for him

Malt Liquor In the Car: i tried to pick anquan

With the 58th pick in the draft, the Wabash Cockblockers select Andre Johnson.

Team Nigam: tell me who you want

With the 59th pick in the draft, the Team Leonidas select Hines Ward.

Team Nigam: i'll trade you for him

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: i guess i have him on my roster, then

Team Nigam: u down for a trade for randy?

Malt Liquor In the Car: nah i don't like any of your players

Team Nigam: haha

Wabash Cockblockers: after this draft is done,

Malt Liquor In the Car: cept for maybe owens

Team Nigam: i meant i would draft someone you want or something

Wabash Cockblockers: i'm going to check the rosters and sort some of this mess out

Wabash Cockblockers: let it be known though that jeff DEFINITELY picked ldt

Wabash Cockblockers: and alex DEFINITELY wanted anquan

Wabash Cockblockers: so if something went awry, those two guys deserved the players

Team Leonidas: and i def. picked ldt after he didnt get ldt, haha

Wabash Cockblockers: for now, leave anquan and ldt alone and hopefully this shit won't happen anymore

With the 60th pick in the draft, the Team Nigam select Laveranues Coles.

Wabash Cockblockers: sidd are you picking?

Wabash Cockblockers: i'll take that as a yes then

With the 61st pick in the draft, the Team Nigam select Santana Moss.

Team Nigam: that was a tough one

Wabash Cockblockers: yeah

Wabash Cockblockers: i would've gone with darrell

Wabash Cockblockers: but santana's just as good

With the 62nd pick in the draft, the Team Leonidas select Fred Taylor.

With the 63rd pick in the draft, the Wabash Cockblockers select Bears D/ST.

Team Nigam: i just think that santana is still a great WR

With the 64th pick in the draft, the Grizzly Bear Incest select Warrick Dunn.

Wabash Cockblockers: he had that one montster year

Wabash Cockblockers: and then washington had no quarterback at all last season

With the 65th pick in the draft, the Malt Liquor In the Car select Todd Heap.

With the 66th pick in the draft, the Chillicompton Matt Murrays select Ladell Betts.

With the 67th pick in the draft, the Team Powers select Darrell Jackson.

With the 68th pick in the draft, the Beef on Weck select Chris Cooley.

Wabash Cockblockers: so, no one's going to make fun of me for taking the bears defense?

Wabash Cockblockers: GOOD!

Wabash Cockblockers: PWN3D

With the 69th pick in the draft, the Backfield In Lotion select DeAngelo Williams.

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: i was thinking it, but didn't want to rude

With the 70th pick in the draft, the Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus select Julius Jones.

With the 71st pick in the draft, the Team Van Rens select Joey Galloway.

Wabash Cockblockers: haha

Team Leonidas: google earth has the better defense

Wabash Cockblockers: you're tkaing the ravens d next time up, i know it

Team Nigam: hahahaha

Wabash Cockblockers: Unfortunately GoogleEarth is not sanctioned by the NFL

Wabash Cockblockers: jerk

With the 72nd pick in the draft, the Pac-Village Makin it Rain select Reggie Brown.

Team Nigam: breaking news: the NFL JUST SANCTIONED GOOGLE EARTH!!!

Wabash Cockblockers: you know

Team Leonidas: plays o-line/qb/rb/wr all in one

Wabash Cockblockers: that would make for a great defense

Wabash Cockblockers: considering how they can see everything

With the 73rd pick in the draft, the Pac-Village Makin it Rain select LaMont Jordan.

With the 74th pick in the draft, the Team Van Rens select Alge Crumpler.

Wabash Cockblockers: LaMont!

Team Leonidas: that team would be "the bomb"

Wabash Cockblockers: Monty!

Team Nigam: its patented "satellite" defense is expected to be a real force this year

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: damn!

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: I wanted LaMont.

Wabash Cockblockers: So let's see: you're Jim Van Rens, and you get the second overall pick in FFL, yet you decide to mix Xanax with Jim Beam and thus, you've gone seven rounds without selecting a quarterback

With the 75th pick in the draft, the Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus select DeShaun Foster.

Wabash Cockblockers: Jim Van Rens=not da bomb

With the 76th pick in the draft, the Backfield In Lotion select Jay Cutler.

Wabash Cockblockers: whoa

Wabash Cockblockers: nice later pick

With the 77th pick in the draft, the Beef on Weck select Kevin Curtis.

Wabash Cockblockers: i was hoping he'd be my backup

With the 78th pick in the draft, the Team Powers select Kevin Jones.

With the 79th pick in the draft, the Chillicompton Matt Murrays select Kellen Winslow.

Wabash Cockblockers: but it's evident you were gunning on him for this round

With the 80th pick in the draft, the Malt Liquor In the Car select Chris Chambers.

Backfield In Lotion: I overspent a bit, but he was the guy I wanted

Wabash Cockblockers: i can't blame you

Wabash Cockblockers: he looked real good in the first half last night against the browns

With the 81st pick in the draft, the Grizzly Bear Incest select Donte' Stallworth.

Malt Liquor In the Car: yikes

With the 82nd pick in the draft, the Wabash Cockblockers select Vernon Davis.

Malt Liquor In the Car: slim pickins left in RB's

Wabash Cockblockers: yep

Wabash Cockblockers: happens in every draft because they go so early

With the 83rd pick in the draft, the Team Leonidas select Braylon Edwards.

Team Nigam: damnit i wanted vernon

Wabash Cockblockers: haha

Wabash Cockblockers: ZING!

Team Nigam: damnit and edwards

Team Nigam: screw you guys

Wabash Cockblockers: yeah, nice pick tobey

Team Leonidas: just remember that sticky hands braylon couldnt make that catch against osu

Wabash Cockblockers: (tobey sits there, stunned that I actually paid him a compliment)

With the 84th pick in the draft, the Team Nigam select L.J. Smith.

Team Leonidas: im watching a movie, not paying attention to mr cock blocker

Team Leonidas: haha

Wabash Cockblockers: no one makes that catch or run or anything against osu

Wabash Cockblockers: And btw, I block more cocks in one day than you have your entire life

Backfield In Lotion: you shouldn't be blocking his cock, you should be supporting his cock

With the 85th pick in the draft, the Team Nigam select Mike Bell.

Wabash Cockblockers: eff that

Wabash Cockblockers: tobey and i are mortal enemies

Wabash Cockblockers: thanks to his inexplicable hatred of brady quinn

Wabash Cockblockers: i'm guessing he's jealous of his good looks

With the 86th pick in the draft, the Team Leonidas select Ravens D/ST.

Backfield In Lotion: that play friendly FF together

With the 87th pick in the draft, the Wabash Cockblockers select Terry Glenn.

Team Nigam: man I love brady quinn

Backfield In Lotion: Brady Quinn is a fag on skates

Team Nigam: i wanna suck his dick so bad

Wabash Cockblockers: omg

Team Leonidas: charlie weiss....mmmm mmmm mmmm\

Wabash Cockblockers: you see, that's the header for your next KSK post MMP

Team Nigam: i wanna draft him so I can pretend that he and I are going out

Wabash Cockblockers: IF YOU CAN'T SPELL CHARLIE WEIS' LAST NAME CORRECTLY YOU ARE NOT FUCKING ALLOWED TO MAKE FUN OF HIM

Wabash Cockblockers: YOU FUCKING IDIOT

Backfield In Lotion: we bash quinn all the time

With the 88th pick in the draft, the Grizzly Bear Incest select Dallas Clark.

Wabash Cockblockers: DO YOU SEE ME SPELL IT TRESSSELL? FUCK NO!

Wabash Cockblockers: READ A BOOK

Team Leonidas: i dont fucking care how u spell his last name

Team Nigam: hhahahahaha

Wabash Cockblockers: YOU STILL CAN'T READ

Team Leonidas: bradykwinn

With the 89th pick in the draft, the Malt Liquor In the Car select Philip Rivers.

Wabash Cockblockers: THIS IS SPARTA

With the 90th pick in the draft, the Chillicompton Matt Murrays select Vince Young.

With the 91st pick in the draft, the Team Powers select Deion Branch.

Backfield In Lotion: and this ass that went to Ohio Wesleyan always goes into our comments and rips us for it

Team Nigam: hahaha

Team Nigam: speaking of tressel

Wabash Cockblockers: yo

With the 92nd pick in the draft, the Beef on Weck select Eli Manning.

With the 93rd pick in the draft, the Backfield In Lotion select Matt Leinart.

Wabash Cockblockers: (and yeah, MMP, you either love Brady or hate him)

Team Nigam: who else went to the autograph session and got autographs??

Team Nigam: cuz i did

Wabash Cockblockers: in cleveland?

Team Nigam: and it was fucking awesome

Wabash Cockblockers: that's sweet

Team Nigam: no at the stadium

Wabash Cockblockers: ah, awesome

Backfield In Lotion: in fact, I love hating him

With the 94th pick in the draft, the Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus select Jason Witten.

With the 95th pick in the draft, the Team Van Rens select Mark Clayton.

Grizzly Bear Incest: i hate brady

Team Nigam: got to stand on the new field and everything

Wabash Cockblockers: oh yeah, that was thursday!

Grizzly Bear Incest: it's my new hobby

With the 96th pick in the draft, the Pac-Village Makin it Rain select Tony Romo.

Wabash Cockblockers: so you were like one of only about 300 guys i read in the dispatch

Team Nigam: i also got Beanie's and Todd Boeckman's

Wabash Cockblockers: sweeeet

Wabash Cockblockers: that's awesome

Wabash Cockblockers: do you think boeckman will start this saturday?

Team Leonidas: can i get your autograph sidd?

Team Nigam: almost splooged my pants when i talked to those guys

Team Leonidas: haha

Wabash Cockblockers: thanks for sharing that latter line there sidd

Wabash Cockblockers: oh yeah,

Wabash Cockblockers: speaking of saturday, wtf is up with the big ten network

Team Nigam: I think boeckman will start

Wabash Cockblockers: the pastor at my church was even complaining about in the sermon this morning

Team Nigam: he was the only player wearing a black jersey

Wabash Cockblockers: ok

Team Nigam: so i'm guessing he will

Wabash Cockblockers: good

With the 97th pick in the draft, the Pac-Village Makin it Rain select Bernard Berrian.

With the 98th pick in the draft, the Team Van Rens select Isaac Bruce.

Wabash Cockblockers: schoenhoft i heard had a really week spring game

With the 99th pick in the draft, the Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus select Jake Delhomme.

Team Leonidas: weak u meen???

With the 100th pick in the draft, the Backfield In Lotion select Calvin Johnson.

Wabash Cockblockers: shut up...

Team Leonidas: and u comp[lain i cant spell someones name i dont care about, at least i spell the english language correctly

Wabash Cockblockers: wow

Wabash Cockblockers: did you just type that sentence?

Team Leonidas: no

Wabash Cockblockers: hahahaha

Wabash Cockblockers: tobey steinman i love you

Backfield In Lotion: be nice or just leeve

Wabash Cockblockers: you truly are the pride of kenton, ohio

With the 101st pick in the draft, the Beef on Weck select Brian Leonard.

With the 102nd pick in the draft, the Team Powers select Vernand Morency.

With the 103rd pick in the draft, the Chillicompton Matt Murrays select Benjamin Watson.

With the 104th pick in the draft, the Malt Liquor In the Car select Michael Turner.

Wabash Cockblockers: anyways, i'm guessing jeff left to watch entourage

Beef on Weck: did he go to autopick?

Beef on Weck: i've been not at my comp a lot heh

With the 105th pick in the draft, the Grizzly Bear Incest select Ben Roethlisberger.

Wabash Cockblockers: that's ok cheech

Wabash Cockblockers: this is going slower than i thought it would

With the 106th pick in the draft, the Wabash Cockblockers select LenDale White.

With the 107th pick in the draft, the Team Leonidas select Reuben Droughns.

With the 108th pick in the draft, the Team Nigam select Santonio Holmes.

Wabash Cockblockers: NIGAM YOU THIEF!

Wabash Cockblockers: GRRRR

Team Nigam: hahahahaha

Wabash Cockblockers: WE'RE NOT GOING TO SUGAR BAR ANYMORE

Team Nigam: lol

Team Nigam: watch this one

With the 109th pick in the draft, the Team Nigam select Patriots D/ST.

Wabash Cockblockers: nice pick

Team Nigam: go pats!

Wabash Cockblockers: boooooooo

Beef on Weck: gay

Team Nigam: they're going undefeated this year

Wabash Cockblockers: welcome to ohio sidd

With the 110th pick in the draft, the Team Leonidas select Brett Favre.

Wabash Cockblockers: where hating all things east coast is quickly becoming a statewide pasttime

Team Nigam: lol

Team Nigam: it doesn't matter

Team Nigam: results matter

Team Nigam: patriots = best team ever

With the 111th pick in the draft, the Wabash Cockblockers select Mike Furrey.

Wabash Cockblockers: well

Wabash Cockblockers: they are the favorites

Wabash Cockblockers: i'm not sure if any team has ever had a better offseason

Team Nigam: agreed

Wabash Cockblockers: and they did it while being ON TOP of the league

Wabash Cockblockers: unlike jimmy johnson's cowboys, who traded their way into a dynasty via herschel walker and all that

With the 112th pick in the draft, the Grizzly Bear Incest select Jaguars D/ST.

With the 113th pick in the draft, the Malt Liquor In the Car select Derrick Mason.

With the 114th pick in the draft, the Chillicompton Matt Murrays select Vincent Jackson.

With the 115th pick in the draft, the Team Powers select Matt Jones.

Team Nigam: damn this draft is taking forever

Wabash Cockblockers: yeah

Wabash Cockblockers: i'll take responsibility for it

Wabash Cockblockers: i set each pick for two minutes maximum time

With the 116th pick in the draft, the Beef on Weck select Chargers D/ST.

Team Nigam: change it to a minute for 11-16

Wabash Cockblockers: too late

Wabash Cockblockers: sorry!

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: self imposed then

Team Nigam: yes let's do that

Wabash Cockblockers: i guess so

With the 117th pick in the draft, the Backfield In Lotion select Brandon Jackson.

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: i hate you backfield

Wabash Cockblockers: haha

Team Nigam: come on business time

With the 118th pick in the draft, the Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus select Chris Brown.

With the 119th pick in the draft, the Team Van Rens select Greg Jennings.

Wabash Cockblockers: the titans' starting rb

Wabash Cockblockers: and one of my sleepers

Wabash Cockblockers: damn

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: it's a vicious cycle

Wabash Cockblockers: jeff, you there?

Wabash Cockblockers: ha...vicious cycle

With the 120th pick in the draft, the Pac-Village Makin it Rain select Jerry Porter.

With the 121st pick in the draft, the Pac-Village Makin it Rain select Chad Pennington.

With the 122nd pick in the draft, the Team Van Rens select D.J. Hackett.

Team Nigam: so the osu games wont be on CBS?

Team Nigam: the hell is the big ten network??

With the 123rd pick in the draft, the Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus select Devery Henderson.

Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus: live and die with the saints, i guess

Wabash Cockblockers: The Big Ten Network is an evil, evil corporation that got together one day and thought it would be fun to have an all-inclusive package of Big Ten sports, such as the conference water polo championships and cross country invitationals.

Wabash Cockblockers: They also thought it would be a great idea to take away games from local access and make loyal fans pay for them.

Team Nigam: now thats what I call a cockblock

Wabash Cockblockers: But then there was a problem: Time Warner called BULL FUCKING SHIT on the whole network and refused to carry them.

With the 124th pick in the draft, the Backfield In Lotion select Randy McMichael.

Wabash Cockblockers: And that's why you, the common OSU fan, are getting fucked over from watching the Buckeyes the next two weeks.

Team Leonidas: just go to the game...

Wabash Cockblockers: Yeah, I'm gonna pay $50 to see OSU play their thrid string for half the game against Youngstown State?

Wabash Cockblockers: Please

With the 125th pick in the draft, the Beef on Weck select Joe Jurevicius.

With the 126th pick in the draft, the Team Powers select Chris Henry.

With the 127th pick in the draft, the Chillicompton Matt Murrays select Muhsin Muhammad.

Team Leonidas: why not

Wabash Cockblockers: Because I'd rather have gas in my car and food on the table, that's why

With the 128th pick in the draft, the Malt Liquor In the Car select Vikings D/ST.

With the 129th pick in the draft, the Grizzly Bear Incest select Tatum Bell.

With the 130th pick in the draft, the Wabash Cockblockers select Alex Smith.

Wabash Cockblockers: Vikings D is a great pick this late

With the 131st pick in the draft, the Team Leonidas select Heath Miller.

Wabash Cockblockers: (and it makes me look silly for taking the Bears in Round 6, but that's who I am)

Team Nigam: u guys ready for this

With the 132nd pick in the draft, the Team Nigam select Brady Quinn.

Team Nigam: YES!!!!!!

Team Leonidas: hahaha

Wabash Cockblockers: oh lord

Wabash Cockblockers: well, this makes me look smart for taking the bears then

Wabash Cockblockers: :)

With the 133rd pick in the draft, the Team Nigam select Leon Washington.

Wabash Cockblockers: I mean, Good LORD DUDE

Team Nigam: well if u didnt take alex smith like i wanted

Team Nigam: mess up my whole draft

Team Nigam: asshole

Team Nigam: lol

Wabash Cockblockers: haha

With the 134th pick in the draft, the Team Leonidas select Anthony Thomas.

Malt Liquor In the Car: fuck

Wabash Cockblockers: You know, just for that, I'll take Troy Smith as my last pick

Wabash Cockblockers: (or not)

With the 135th pick in the draft, the Wabash Cockblockers select Adrian Peterson.

Team Nigam: looking back on it

With the 136th pick in the draft, the Grizzly Bear Incest select Eddie Kennison.

Team Nigam: i just took quinn over a lot of good qb's

Team Nigam: meh o well

With the 137th pick in the draft, the Malt Liquor In the Car select Daniel Graham.

With the 138th pick in the draft, the Chillicompton Matt Murrays select Ronald Curry.

With the 139th pick in the draft, the Team Powers select Reggie Williams.

Team Nigam: i'll pick up another one

Wabash Cockblockers: um yeah you did!

Wabash Cockblockers: you took him over scahub and leftwich to start

Wabash Cockblockers: i thought you were just messing with me!

Team Nigam: i told you

Team Nigam: i am gay for him

Team Nigam: lol

Wabash Cockblockers: hahaha

Wabash Cockblockers: That makes two of us, my hetersexual comrade

With the 140th pick in the draft, the Beef on Weck select Joe Horn.

Team Nigam: but seriously though he looked pretty good in the preseason

Wabash Cockblockers: No, he looked great last night

Wabash Cockblockers: But Charlie's gonna start first

Team Nigam: and i think he might start

Wabash Cockblockers: later on, but not right away

Team Nigam: especially since I don't think charlie frye is near as good

Wabash Cockblockers: yeah, me neither

Wabash Cockblockers: it's kind of like kurt warner and eli a few years ago in ny

With the 141st pick in the draft, the Backfield In Lotion select Dolphins D/ST.

Team Nigam: i once turned on the tv just in time to see frye throw an interception

With the 142nd pick in the draft, the Business Time Hip-Hoppaotomus select Broncos D/ST.

With the 143rd pick in the draft, the Team Van Rens select Trent Green.

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There'd be more but that's enough. Good times, bitches, good times.

Work finishes in a half hour and I can't think of anything to write

But I will say this: I need to get back to writing more. I'm a graduate student at the Ohio State University working on two music degrees, and as fun and rewarding as a life in music is, it takes up a huge amount of time in my day, especially when school's in session. Seriously, the only reason I'm able to write this first post is because it's a slow day at my temp job.

The purpose of "Ohio Head, Chicago Heart" is to give me a place where I can speak openly about sports. Obviously there's going to be a larger focus on such things as the Cubs, Buckeyes and Notre Dame (my undergrad), but there'll be plenty of time to complain about other things too, such as why benching Mike Vick for getting indicted is essentially treating him guilty until proven innocent.