The Greatest Sports Weekend Ever Since I Began this Blog

Soooo many fantastic storylines popping up for this weekend, let's start with the happiest first:

As best I did to jinx him, Steve Trachsel might have thrown his best game of the season last night, and the Cubs played long ball in outhomering the Astros 6-2. Yesterday's headlines regarding the Cubbies were running amok about how huge that double play was in the game before; on PTI, Wilbon went as far to call it the best win the Cubs have had since the Bartman incident. The jury is still out on that one, but I was more excited about last night's victory: decent power accompanying stellar pitching.

There were two unsung heroes last night: Jacques Jones for that great catch against the wall at the top of the eighth, and the Cubs bullpen for shutting down the Astros in those later innings. Carlos Marmol pitched two scoreless innings and Kerry Wood looked excellent in the one inning of he relief he pitched. Cubs fans should be excited for that; if Wood can still help get this team into October, it'd be a wonderful story, bordering on the pre-HGH connected Rick Ankiel vibes. :D

Which reminds me, we play those douchebags this weekend. We can take 'em.

***

From sixty to zero we go, as Notre Dame travels to Michigan to get its ass kicked for the third week in a row. Numerous people have asked me who's going to win tomorrow, and every time I've said (while rolling my eyes and dying a little on the inside) Michigan ought to win handily. That's how little faith I have in our team's offense right now. Jimmy Clausen is quite good, and he'll continue to improve as the season continues, but he literally has nothing to work with, even if it is against a suspect Wolverine defense. Add Mike Hart's thirst for blood to the mix and this probably won't be a very pretty game.

Still, it's amazing how much national intrigue there is to the match-up with both teams sitting at 0-2. Look, both these guys' seasons are done! But maybe they just want to spend more time hating on Lloyd Carr, which would be a shame. The last four-five years may not have gone as scripted for Carr, but he did get a share of the national championship in 1997, losing out to sentimental favorite Tom Osborne (whose former school has a huge game at home to USC this weekend) in the coach's poll. How many schools would love to have the kind of tenure Carr had at Michigan?

An even better question: who would you rather have coaching your team right now: Charlie Weis or Ty Willingham? For Domers that gossip on the Net too much, the answer is Weis because they're biased idiots (a column on that is in the works, trust me). But you can't say Willingham's Washington squad is in a far worse position, hosting OSU in a game that everyone thinks will be a huge upset. (and because everyone's calling for that upset, I'm going to utilize a Bill Simmons betting strategy and go the opposite direction) Washington may have the more talented quarterback in Jake Locker, and might--save for the running back game--have the better offense overall with its variation of the spread formation that destroyed Michigan a week ago (per the Oregon Ducks, who have both one hell of a QB and one fucking insane mascot). No one outside of Columbus, however, has given enough respect to Ohio State's defense, with Lauranitis in the middle and cornerback Malcolm Jenkins long overdue for a monster game (yes, these are the only two Buckeye defenders I can name from memory, and no, I don't care). This defense will do its job in Seattle. Offensively, the running game needs to have a big day (and it was good to see Jeff Saine play so well against Akron) and it should be sufficient to give the Buckeyes a well-earned road win for returning home for the juggernaut that is Northwestern.

There are also some NFL games on, but they aren't nearly as enticing as these matchups. The Bengals will kill the Browns (which will result in the Cleveland fans completely turning on their team), and the Bears ought to handle Kansas City, seeing as the Chiefs are on the verge of self-destruction here--their offense, save for LJ, is almost as bad as Notre Dame's.

Predictions:
Cubs win the series over the Cards
Michigan over ND
OSU over Washington
Bengals over Browns
Bears over Chiefs
CliffX over FFL
CliffX over drunk chicks
Indians good
Reds bad

More Proof That the Big Ten Network Must Die

(blogger's note: this was supposed to be up this past Monday, but my Internet connection has been limited. Hopefully that'll change over the next couple of weeks.)

Here’s what I wrote about the Big Ten Network about a month ago:

"I know it's unlikely, but say Akron or YSU end up fielding a really competitive game against the Buckeyes, similar to how Ball State played Michigan last season. Wouldn't you be glued to the TV set under normal circumstances, monitoring the action like a hostage negotiator? But now there's a chance you'd at the very least have to go extra measures to watch your team(s) play, regardless of how big the game is. "

Well, last Saturday, albeit not in Columbus, we didn't see just a "really competitive game," we saw the greatest college football upset in history: Appalachian State (HOT HOT HOT!) 34, Michigan 32. Awesome, baby.

So, after you saw the end of the game were you flipping out and calling all your friends as fast as you…oh wait, you couldn’t get the game, could you? Thanks a lot, Big Ten Network. Thank you for screwing over the common fan from watching the impossible happen. Thank you for failing to negotiate with local cable providers in time so that fans all across the Midwest would either have to make a trek to a bar or friend’s place (and what does that say about elder fans who may have trouble getting around?) in order to catch their favorite team.

Speaking from firsthand perspective, the Big Ten Network royally, royally pissed off people here in Columbus. Whether it was at my temp job, at OSU, or even mentioned by the pastor during his sermon at my church (seriously!), no one was happy about the predicament, and everyone agreed that the BTN was a product not of access, but of greed.

The worst thing about the BTN is it doesn’t seem that the Big Ten Commissioner Jim Delaney cares for fans not getting the game if their cable providers don't agree to terms with BTN. Check out this article where he points the finger at the providers--rather than the BTN for being a really stupid idea--for not having "mature" discussions about making the sports channel part of their package. (Much of his whining is directed at Comcast, who are having all sorts of fun up in Michigan with this crock of shit.)

I caught the OSU game and the finish to the App State/Michigan game at a public party on Lane Avenue. Thankfully the campus area carries the BTN and I didn’t miss a beat of pretty shabby commentary (although I flipped out at seeing former Chicago Bears quarterback Mike Tomczack in the booth) and endless, endless shots of fans in the stands. ABC college gameday, this was not. When the OSU game finished, not one Buckeye fan got up; everyone stayed glued to the giant projectors for the enthralling conclusion to the Michigan contest—and enthralling it was, I haven’t screamed that much at a TV since Martin Scorsese finally won an Oscar last spring. When it was over, the Buckeye fans screamed, and complete strangers began high fiving each other before calling all their buddies to say, “Did you just see that!”…

…well, there’s the problem, they didn’t see that. Around campus, where students and staff can access the Big Ten Network free of charge, the news spread like wildfire, but in Hilliard, Dublin, Bexley, Westerville, Reynoldsburg, and everywhere else in/around the I-270 belt loop, people were missing out if they didn’t weren’t connected. And it sure as hell isn’t their fault.

Time Warner Cable: do not give in to this bullshit. It’s a right, not a privilege, to watch your team on a regular, weekly basis, and the BTN doesn’t deserve a cent more of all the money it has already needlessly drained from consumers and cable providers. May the Big Ten Network die a faster death than Karen Holbrook’s legacy.

Weekend roundup post-Labor Day, 9/4

UPSET OF UPSETS!!!! Appalachian State 34, That School Up North 32. I was at a public party on Lane Saturday watching the OSU game on the Big Ten Network (more on this crock of ass later today), when we started seeing score updates with the Mountaineers two touchdowns ahead of Michigan. Eventually that score was whittled down and even turned in favor of the Wolverines, but after the Buckeyes game finished we were able to see the final few drives. Armani Edwards has balls of steel, I'll tell you what. I thought his team was done for after that bad pick, but after App State blocked the first field goal, Edwards threw together and amazing two-minute drive to give his team that crucial field goal. To see the second field goal blocked? I mean, incredible. This game has to remind everyone of that killer Colorado-Michigan match from over ten years ago. What a great event.

Not so great...

I got home from the tailgate just in time to catch Notre Dame get destroyed repeatedly, suffering their worst opening day loss in school history. FUCKASS. That's what it was folks, a legitimate fuckass of a football game. By now you are aware of how horribly the offense played; well, scratch that, the entire team was a mess. GT quarterback Taylor Bennett only played semi-decently, yet the Yellow Jackets were able to destroy our linebackers with their running game through Tavaris Choice (unlike the Irish, GT also blocked extremely well). After a home loss like this, the next two games on the road--oh, for crying out loud, probably the rest of the season--look unbelievably forboding. If there's a silver lining it's that Michigan's team spirit has been seriously wounded, but going through Happy Valley the week before won't help matters.

Which leads me to a couple of comments color commentator Pat Haden (I'm pretty it's still Haden doing the coverage) said that irked me: midway through the third quarter he commented on how much more aggressive the ND defense looked, and just after he said those words, Choice bounced off several linebackers and safeties en route to a 40+ yard gain. I know stuff like that happens, but geez man, by the second half all compliments about the Irish should have been held to a minimum. The other comment that REALLY bugged me was saying both the offense and defense should look much more composed for their game against Penn State...are you freakin' kidding me??? IT'S BEAVER STADIUM! THEY'RE GONNA MURDER US! Think California fans from last Saturday night plus lots more beer and AA batteries and you'll get an idea of what Beaver Stadium will be like Saturday night.

We're in trouble.

Not nearly as in trouble are the Buckeyes, who yawned through a 38-6 victory over Jim Tressel's old school Youngstown State. Starting QB Todd Boeckman looked very relaxed as he threw for multiple touchdowns and no picks. Backup Robby Schoenhoft only saw a few series, but he had too much zing on the ball and had trouble finding the numbers of his receivers. Neither QB got a really serious test, and we might not see a true test of this team's offensive quality until Michigan State or Purdue (or maybe even Washington, if they are as poslished as they looked Saturday at Syracuse). If anything, the Buckeyes know they can't yawn through...oh geez. Okay, here's a joke going around campus: take the first letter of the first four opponents on the Buckeye's schedule, and find out the word that spells. But in all seriousness, that's not what they can do! I'm positive Tressell made an example of Michigan to his teammates, as did many Big Ten teams over the past couple of days.

I've already written too much...okay, a few more notes about the Cubs. I'm happy with the past Houston series, but like a lot of Cubs fans I'm frustrated with Big Z, and that's all I'm going to write about him. BTW, I know it's a hot thing to look for that spark in trades at the end of the season, but Steve Trachsel isn't the answer for getting to October. Remember, this is the guy who said Sammy Sosa was an impediment to the team while he was leading the National League in losses. I'm guessing they probably didn't get along.